This week, Crescent Moon Bookstore discusses Islamic toilet etiquette for children.
As we write this blog, our Palestinian brothers and sisters are suffering unimaginably at the hands of the occupying Israeli forces. Please consider donating to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund, a credible organization providing relief and assistance in the region. If you are looking for books that talk to kids about Palestine, here is our latest book listing that celebrates Palestinian stories and authors.
If we started a thread on the weirdest thing our kids did in the toilet, we would have an unending stream of hilarious and cringe-worthy responses.
All kids go through a phase where they do all sorts of silly and sometimes unimaginable things in the toilet. Some sing and read while others run into the toilet with food in their mouth, and few (ahem *mine* ahem) will play out a horror of your life by reciting Quranic words, verses, or songs they have been learning.
Teaching proper bathroom etiquette to our children is essential to building a family that thrives on strong Islamic values. So, if you, like many other parents, are struggling with potty training your toddler, fret not; we've got you!
Read on to learn how to potty train your toddler and instill good Islamic toilet etiquette in them. (Psst..we even have book recommendations! )
Potty Training Basics All Parents Should Know
When and How to Start
Lean in so we can share a little potty training secret…closer now…wait till your toddler gives you cues that they are ready to be trained.
Yep.
You read that right.
Rushing through potty training like it's a milestone waiting to be achieved doesn't help. Of course, it is, but we only cross a milestone when we get there. And if your toddler isn’t ‘there’ yet, you can't force them to cross it. Like with all things concerning children, potty training takes time. And often, kids give out hints when they are ready to go. Watch out for the following signs that tell you that it might be time for you to put your toddler on the toilet:
- They hold back from peeing because they don’t like the feel of a wet nappy.
- They communicate through gestures and words to say they want to go to the toilet.
- They pull at their nappy, many times pulling it off completely, no longer wishing to have it on.
Here are a few helpful things you can do to instill good potty etiquette in your children from a young age:
- Wash toddler bums with water at least once a day so that they are used to the feel of water on their privates, apart from during bath time.
- After your baby turns one, get them a suitable free-standing potty seat to practice sitting on the toilet.
- Have a daily routine where you sit your toddler on the potty. This doesn't mean you have to abandon diapers, just a couple times a day when you know your baby would go, for eg. first thing in the morning or before naptime. The key here is to merely introduce the concept of a toilet to a toddler.
We highly recommend No More Nappies by Little Hibba Publishers to warm your toddler to the idea of ditching their nappies and heading to the restroom!
As a parent, the onus is on you to figure out your toddler’s physiological readiness, bladder control, comprehension ability, and capacity to follow instructions. Many parents successfully potty train their kids between two and three.
Teaching Children the Right Islamic Toilet Etiquette
In a narration by Abu Malik Al-Ash`ari, he reported that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“Purity is half of iman (faith).”
The Holy Quran tells us,
“Indeed, Allah loves those who constantly repent and loves those who purify themselves” [Quran, 2:222]
We know that good hygiene and cleanliness bring us closer to Allah SWT because He loves purity. As Muslim families, we must imbibe the teachings of our Holy Book and the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) regarding these matters. Interestingly, the Prophet (PBUH) did actually teach us about toilet manners, among all other things! Read this blog to learn more about Sunnahs for a happy Muslim family.
Teaching Kids Privacy in the Toilet
The first toilet etiquette to teach your kids is privacy. Islamically speaking, we know that children until puberty are not held accountable for exposing their awrah. Nevertheless, teaching them early about modesty, haya, and bashfulness when covering our bodies is always helpful.
Coach little kids to give you space and ‘alone time’ so you can use the washroom. When it is their turn, keep siblings away from the toilet and give them some moments alone so they can relieve themselves.
Sunnah Acts of Entering, Using, and Exiting the Toilet
Sunnah bathroom etiquettes are relatively simple to practice and model; do them right a bunch of times, and they stick with you forever. Here is what you can teach your children when going to the toilet:
- Start by demonstrating to children that we must use footwear while entering the toilet.
- The next in line for Islamic toilet manners is to recite the dua before we step into the toilet. The dua for entering is as follows:
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ). اللَّهُـمَّ إِنِّي أَعُـوذُ بِـكَ مِـنَ الْخُـبْثِ وَالْخَبَائِثِ)
(In the name of Allah). O Allah, I ask refuge with you from all male and female evil spirits. (Al-Bukhari 1:45, Muslim 1:283)
- Once we recite the dua, step into the toilet, left foot first.
- Shut the door fully or halfway through, depending on the kids' age.
- Teach boys to sit on the potty seat to relieve themselves, as it is highly undesirable to urinate whilst standing.
- Muslims wash themselves with water after using the toilet. Teach your children the right way to do istinja. Some families use a water pot with a long snout, and some have washing sprays installed at home.
- Wash hands after using the toilet.
- Exit with the right foot out first.
- Recite the dua, غُفْرَانَكَ
“(O Allah) I seek forgiveness and pardon from You”.
My First Muslim Potty Book By Yousfa Janjua is an excellent kids' book about the necessary bathroom etiquette kids should know.
Acts to Avoid in the Toilet
In addition to the recommended bathroom etiquette, some acts are disliked and should be avoided when in the toilet. Remember to gently nurture these in your children as you encourage them to practice the sunnah.
- From a young age, encourage kids not to talk or sing while sitting on the potty. (Easier said than done, we know!)
- Do not go into the toilet with food in your mouth.
- Do not wash your privates with your right hand
- Do not go into the toilet with items bearing Islamic value
- Do not utter Allah’s SWT name, Quranic verses, or anything of Islamic significance while in the toilet.
Training your kids to go potty the sunnah way can take a while, and several hiccups may occur along the way, but remember that as you bear with patience (Sabr) and gratitude (Shukr), every effort you put into it is setting up your children for success in the dunya and the akhirah. It may take a while, and that's completely normal.
Once children get the hang of these sunnah acts of using the toilet, they run on autopilot, requiring little to no help.
Do you struggle with potty training your kids? What challenges do you face, and how do you tackle them? Drop a comment and let us know!